Twisted Effect
by The Paragade Gamer
Summary: I remember it like it was yesterday Normal life,video games and redbox but then my life is sucked in, spit out, then twisted upside down by a load of BS. Now its Explosive Life with bullets flying right and left, and the headbutting capacity is way beyond reached, no we freaking killed it, at first it was awesome but I soon realize the mission just got a lot more complicated. ME 1
1. Things Change

_Welcome Readers, I'm happy to present you with the first chapter of my story, i hope you like it :)_

_**Note: I don't own mass effect or any of its characters and places, and all that, but the oc and some other characters and places are me so**_

_**Twisted Effect**_

_** Chapter 1**_

_** -Things Change -**_

* * *

"_uuggg_" I moan groggy, my head is slanted on the side of a keyboard, my mind whines from agony of deprived sleep, the laptop screen connected to the keyboard has an continuous eternal letter A's running across it, my mind is still in a blur as I look at the little clock on the side of the screen it reads "_6:22 AM_"

"_3 hours of sleep is better than none_" I groan, I lift my head from the board and it shows…

_Damn! 3000 pages of the fucking letter A, god why did I have to fall asleep on the damn keyboard, everyone is pretty lucky I finished my report for my professor, or there would be a 15 mile radius swearing zone_

I feel a deep imprint on the side of my face, I rub it thoroughly and feel one big rectangle and 20 small squares, one for each key my face that was on the keyboard, I swear several times while shuffling to the bathroom, mainly from stubbing my toe on the door frame

_Son of a.. !_

I _lazily_ flip on the light switch and the light temporally blinds me,

"_Ahhh, it burns_", I cry, but then add mockingly "_MY EYES_"

_Why the hell do I stay in the dark so long?_

I quickly recover because I'm used to this, on look into the echo of myself in the plain mirror, I curve my head to see the side of my face

"_Fuck, my cheek looks like a fucking checkers board_ "I shout, pretty pissed off, the squares imprinted on my face look like a slanted checkers board then I imaging someone yelling '_king me_' on the side of my face, god I'm stupid

Well I have the whole weekend off, so it's time to party, Mass effect showdown morning, Hit the clubs

_yeah right_

_shut up_

shots tonight!, first I call off all my friends, first Natalie

"_Sorry May but I'm at my brother's he and his wife are fighting again_"

_Damn, Jim was always a douche _

Okay I'll call mike,

His mom answers" _oh hello May_" she answers in a sweet old lady voice, "_sorry but mike is in the hospital, damaged his shin guard while on a marathon, didn't tie his laces well_"

_Curse you fucking shoelaces_

Hey what about Chrissy

"_What, heck no, May it's 6 in the morning and I have a meeting at work today, maybe later_"

_I don't give a fuck anyway Chrissy was always a bitch, still probably sore from the last time she got her ass kicked on black ops,_

Well then I'll call June if she isn't slacking off

"Oh hey may," she answers yawning

"sup June, I'm not doing anything want to play multiplayer" I ask, hoping for good news

"hell yes" she screams" but…" she replies downcast _"_I'm still finishing my project for professor Jerkface"

"He's not a Jerkface your just a lazy ass, besides I finished that 3 hours ago" June has a problem with homework and teachers who assign it but I can't blame her it does suck

June perks up "_oh really well the sooner I finish this-"_

She usually wants to copy off me to get it over with, but this is my usual reply

"No June, do your own work" then I hang up pissed the fuck off, so pissed off that the phone misses the receiver and hits the floor, and the cords and crap fall out

"Well today is just perfect" I mumble sarcastically

_Damn, I'll play mass effect later, first I got to fix this shit phone_

I snatch the phone from the floor along with all the fallen pieces, and walk into my lab, or aka my spare bedroom, and take out some wire cutters, electrical tape and other stuff, after about maybe 20 minutes I think I have it done, I'm pretty good with fixing and building stuff, if I do so say so myself, just then a person is in the middle of leaving a message on the machine

"So the bill is $263 for the electric bill you have 2 days left to pay, or your power will be terminated " finishes the voice, it's male and sounds like a moaning person who's dead inside, guess that's how you are in the electric business nowadays

_Fuck, 2 days left , well I have the money today, guess I'll send… wait no I'll mail it , the mailbox is right by that Redbox with all the good movies, some little good news like having no stupid " not available" sign is better than none_

I was about to rush out the door with my coat but stop to judge my appearance, I'm wearing a pink solid shirt, light blue PJ bottoms with smiley faces and _A_ black sock

So I'm either going to be mugged for being a dumbass or given money to because someone thinks I'm a hobo,

_I think I should change_

Then I rush to my car in more appropriate clothing, [Spiderman shirt and blue jeans, the classic] and actual shoes on, my car is a busted Honda civic, it smells like crap and spring meadow, has stains but it runs that's all that matters, I open my door I hop into the odd smell '_damn you Febreze , eliminates all odors my ass'_ but I guess I couldn't blame them my car is damned with its stench, I'm about to ramble on some more about this but then notice my black Xbox 360 in the passenger's seat

"Oh yeah" I say, remembering that I brought it to June's yesterday to play Mass effect 3 and Fable 2, my TV is crap but my Xbox is awesome, her TV is fucking awesome but her Xbox is bull crap , so it's a win- win deal, I decide to leave it there, because it's doing no harm

I put the key in the car and it starts to rumble, after a smooth but short drive I reach the good Redbox but then

Fuck! The mailbox is on the other side of the street; I search the street and see no one there,

_It's 7 in the morning who would I expect, the president, but it was quiet, too quiet, oh god if I get shot I will never use the mail again, screw paper, not really but if it did happen_

I slowly exit the car; I shiver some from the rushing cold wind, I take the key out and stuff it in my pocket, then dash across the street and open the lid to the mailbox, thinking that I should just screw it and let June copy me, but then suddenly I hear a door close, and my finger snaps into the lid as I'm spooked by the sudden noise, a pin of pain plunges into my poor finger

_Mother fucker!_

I turn my head to the sound of the noise, it comes from across the street and I notice a dark figure holding my Xbox,

_Mother Fucker !_

Time stands still as we stare at each other, my face: Shocked, his/hers: well fuck it's all dark I can't see it

"_Boom_" likes a flash the figure sprints away, into his own car,

_How the hell did that get there?_

I surge into my car and scramble and fumble the key out my pocket and into the ignition, I slam the gas, but the bastard already has a head start, it's a chase and we blur across the street, still no one is around

_What kind of jackass steals someone else's Xbox,_ the thought floods into my head

_I'm really pissed, no beyond pissed, no this is a whole another level of being damn pissed that I can't describe,_ yeah of course it's just a dang Xbox, and all my data is on both the hard drive and a flash drive in my room but this really, deep down inside was about one thing "_Don't Fuck With May_"

I'm right on this bastard's tail when he detours into the forest "Oh you want to be sneaky huh, well two can play at that game" I screech, hammering into the dark forest, my foot feels like it's going to go through the gas pedal and all the roots and shit make it hard to steer but my car is just small enough to make it through the gaps

His maneuvers are good, I almost lost him a few times , then I blast into his bumper and he disappears into a grove of trees, I think I lost him and quietly swear "_fuck_" , and start to back out of the trees, but then "_clash_" the side of my car comes into complete impact to front of the figure's car,

At first, time is in slow motion as the car raises upward, my heart is beating rapidly in my chest but each beat hurts like a stab, and my left leg gets a killing direct pain from the car I feel a surge to move but my seat beat binds me and even before I can even move to reach it, time goes it normal speed and me and the car are flipped to side,

Once: my knees are slammed and I wail, twice: my back is banged into the seat and I cry, and for a Third flip my head is clashed with the steering wheel and I bleed, as all my car clangs into a tree to stop the flips, I flop like a rag doll,

The pain from this is unbearable, my nerves are on fire, my leg is shattered, and my head, oh god my head I don't even think that's even the correct work to use for how I feel it looks right now, I could never explain how I could still see at all, but I did see, and furthermore I spoke to the dark figure above with was faceless because it was no man, or any living thing I could think of, yes it had a human male figure but nothing but a pale nothingness pad with no expression for a face, so I somehow consumed air and croaked _" Fuck…you… "_

And then there was nothing all except white

* * *

My eyes flicker open to a white landscape, I gasp for a helping of air

"_What ..the ..hell_" I pant breathing in some for each word " _am I dead?"_

_Oh shit I could be in heaven; if I it is I should stop cursing_

"_Hello god_" I peep out, I'm replied with silence,

_Maybe I should leave or not just sit here_

I see a spot that might be a wall that should be the place I should start

I sprint over to the '_wall_' and notice I feel no fatigue from all this running, I lunge at it to give myself something else to do because I feel like I've been running for hours, then the wall is just nothing just more space and blankness, I smash into the floor and except to be greeted by pain but nothing comes, I pinch myself and '_nothing_', I punch my chest and see my fist sink in but still no pain, okay ultimate test,

_Dont do this at home kids_

I grab the my ankle and stare at it then jerkily twist, and '_snap_" my foot is upside down, I wait for a inch of agony and distress, but nothing, and my foot buts itself back in place

"Where the hell am I" I scream to the top of my lungs upward, but again there is zero, zilch, zip, nada, nothing not even a damn echo, but then when all my hope feels lost I notice something in the distance, I thin figure, I surge back into confidence and run to it, the image it's closer and then I reach it

It's a woman, she dances around like a magnificent ballerina, and it looks like she has a ribbon as she glides around me, her clothes are all black as it shows out her pale skin, and long flowing blond hair, I can't see her face but I wish I could, I have an urge to speak but I cannot, I look at the ribbon but it is not one it is a glowing stream of an blue aura and a red one, but it not following her she is grasping it, from… the air?

She is inches from my face, as she takes the auras and builds them into 2 orbs, at first it's dim but as she swirls them more it glows radiantly, once it meets a curtain point she stops and offers me them both

I stare wondrously in awe into the orbs, I have a thousand thoughts running inside my head, the red one blurs a female image, the blue a male, I then slowly reach for the red sphere the impact of each heartbeat of mine is pounding out of me, then only my fingertips feel its touch and a strange feeling gushes into every fiber of my being, and a striking light shades my sight

* * *

I wake up drowsy

"Oh not this crap again" I groan, but as I open my eyes there is not blankness, there is color and structure, I lay behind a stack of crates wondering "where the hell am I now", I see 2 figures in front of me, 1 there staring directly at each other, I hold up my hands say "oh, sorry didn't mean to disturb –"

I'm then cut off then by the on by the left, it's a female in armor

Cool armor, looks familiar though

"It was a nice try to cut me off by sabotaging the bridge but you knew I'd find you anyway, right Dominguez" her voice is sharp and cries confidence

The other figure is male and he seems somewhat scared "_yeah maybe I did, but you won't kill me_" he doesnt really seem that certain

_What the hell did this poor bastard do to get on her bad side?_

They both lash out guns but she slaps his away and has her's towards his head

"What makes you say that" she asks sarcastically, then the sound of gun loading comes behind her

And she doesn't turn to know who it already is

"I think this does" says the man behind her a pistol pointed behind her

_Oh junk she's screwed maybe I should jump in, wait I don't even know where I am , maybe this is a movie set_

"Took you long enough, Stern, I was thinking you might forget to betray me" she replies calmly not even showing a small bit of not knowing this, it happens in a flash right before my eyes and she takes them both down, sweep kicking them both in a 360 degree circle, and kicking Stern's gun away from his distance, he stares at her shocked

_Okay that was awesome_

"Don't look so shocked, I'd know you weren't loyal since day one, but I didn't know how long you were with Cerberus" she clocks her gun and keeps it at both their fearful faces

_Cerberus… no it can't be, it's probably that plumbing company or something_

"Since I learned the truth about what those alien bastards were doing" Shouts Stern, sweat trickling down his face

_Aliens, hell no!, no, no, no, this has to be a movie_

"Yeah okay, maybe some aliens have it out for humans, but that doesn't mean you go blow up a 3rd of a damn Turian colony" she yells spitting his their faces "your done now, I'm reporting you to c-sec and let's see how they answer to you, also with half the alliance", she keeps her gun locked at them but takes out an glowing holographic watch like thing, and presses dials

_Turians, c-sec and now, no it can't be, damn it, it is an Omni-tool, oh god please just tell me I'm in a really good movie of what I'm thinking of_

Then another person is behind her again, I stare directly at his pistol,

_Fuck, it's a Predictor, well that's it_

"Who the fuck is punking me" I scream out loud, I except them all it look at me but the girl's face is just stunned, and the other males look hopefully at the one with the gun, not even noticing me

"But… Davis, I thought—"starts the woman, but she is then interrupted

"You thought wrong then didn't you?"

"But, but how, why" he confident voice is now weak and quivered

"Hello, right here" I wave my arms to get their attention but still, damn nothing

"_Why not, humans can only help themselves; the aliens just want us dead_" he answers not even fazed by her look of horror

I get up and walk over to him,

"Hey look at me dumbass with the gun, hheelllooo" I'm so pissed, these jackass would even notice I'm here maybe a straight kick in the ass with tell them up, I'm about to womp him upside the head when his finger pulls the trigger

"_NNNOOOO_" I lunge at him but I'm only greeted by a face full of floor " _oww_" I groan, I turn to see if I made any of a difference but the guy still has the gun and the girl is falling to the floor blood rushing out her head, as she is welcomed by the floor with a '_thump_'

_Oh god I just went right through him, like a fucking ghost, _

I then look more closely at my figure and notice how transparent I am,

_Shit, I'm dead, and even worse than that I'm a damn ghost in the… no it's true, the Mass Effect universe, and even worse of all I couldn't do nothing to save that woman's life_

"What do we do now?" asks Dominguez, getting up from the floor and dusting himself off

"We leave, with no evidence" replies Davis as coldly as ever, not even glances at the body below

"What about her" he points at the body, but doesn't stare

"I said No evidence, were blowing the place"

"_But won't that be noticeable_" pipes out Stern

"No, I'm blaming it on a gas explosion, hopefully it gets some aliens in the blast, and stop asking questions, I just saved your sorry asses" he snaps irritated by their stupidity

"What about the humans?" asks Stern concern.

"Their lives will be given for a good cause" replies Davis distantly, as he finishes putting the last coordinates in the bomb "we have 8 minutes, let's go", he turns around to the body and pulls out a needle, with a green liquid, then slowly injects it to the body's arm

"What's that"

"A prototype drug to give people Biotics without big cancer risk, like Red sand, they call it Eexo, almost the opposite then Eezo, the white coats have been testing it on non biotics and Asari, their using it for some scienific shit and they need more test subjects, snuck it out the lab "he starts to explain, "every time they used it the body explodes from an chemical reaction and dies, for the Asari they get a major power boost but then also die from the surge within 15 seconds either way"

He looks disgusted at the body "after the body is charred, there will be nothing left to clean up, they wont even know what _That_ was_" _

They then leave the room and the door closes, I'm just left there staring hopelessly at anything,

_I'm dead, she's dead, everything around a 50 meter radius is screwed, and worst of all those bastards are getting away and I can't do anything about it_

I lay on the floor 6 feet next to the body, man this lady had a quad, I wonder what her name was, if she had a family, or friends

Then out of nowhere another extraordinary blast of light comes from the room,

_You know what I hate fucking light now, screw light, because all it does is give me bull shit _

It's the lady from before with the orbs, and also the glowing spheres,

_He, he, he_

_Oh god I'm such a perv_

But she is wearing robes and I can see her face, it's smooth and her eyes have no pupils they just glow with more light, but her facial feature are really brilliant , and flawless

"Welcome distant one, I have seen you have experienced your beginning_"_ she cries out omnisciently, and godly

"My beginning, bitch I'm a fucking ghost and that lady is dead, so your definition of beginning and mine must be different because this is the end" maybe it wasn't the best idea to curse out the goddess lady, but I have a hella right to be mad

"You are in distress, this is normal" she says calmly, it's so peaceful her voice that it lessens my anger but then I'm fired up again realizing where I am, "you will now be given a choice_"_

I'm tempted now

"What choice" I ask still angrily

"To choose who you become" she answers still calmly "_y_ou have just witnessed the death of this woman, who gave her life to try and stop the crimes of these criminals, now you may choose if you want to stay as you are or have another shot at life"

"At life, do you mean I'm dead" craving to know the truth

"Yes… and no" she responses

_Damn those bullshit answers that just lead to more fucking questions_,

"Now will you carry out her mission, or do what you want"

"What does that mean?"

"Either way you may have life again, but you must choose how you want to live it"

"Okay, but first, what was her mission"

"To defend and protect, all those who need it, to stand up for justice and believes to do what's right"

_Okay I have the choice of hero or freedom_

"Or do as you must to survive and take charge"

_So hero or... survivor, this sounds familiar_

"As well as take down others who might side in your way, right or wrong_"_

_No, it's hero or jackass aka_

"_I choice…. To do what's right_" I say confidently, standing straight

"_Then it is done_" and she opens her arms and I'm lifted up and passed over to the dead body

My transparent figure goes into her solid dead one

_Holy shit am I fusing with her_

"Yes you are, this is to unify you to a body"

_"_Don't I get to choose the body_?"_

"Yes_"_

_Thank god_

"_And no"_

_Fuck_

"You have already chosen_"_

_No I didn't,Damn it_

Then I feel something, I have no idea what it is, but its tangling me, like ropes or vines, and starts to pull me into the dead body, I try to force myself out of the tightening grip but it twists tighter and I'm sucked into darkness

* * *

My eyes slowly open and blink rapidly, I gasp like I never gasp before, I gush air in so bad it hurts, I'm shaking some, and my right arm twitches, then an excruciating pain comes from my forehead as blood oozes down into my eyes and mouth, the metallic taste makes me sick, and I try to grasp something to hold on to but nothing is close, I then remember

_Oh god, the drug, it's about to kill me, why did that bitch goddess give me a screwed body, oh yeah and maybe that bullet in my head isn't helping either_

Now is not the time for sarcasm

I cry painfully as I feel death come in, my new life is near its end already but then it all stops suddenly, and a small bullet rolls off my head into the ground, the blood flow becomes a small stream and then nothing, my tears stop as I realize I'm no long in pain , I weakly lift my head up, and make my fingers come into contact with the place of the bullet, the surface is smooth like there never was a bullet hole, I raise my body up more, and stumble on my legs but grab a crate to stop my fall,

_Oh shit I healed, from a fucking bullet, hell I'm wolverine or like him, close enough_

" I'm alive, looks like your drug is janky, bitch" I exclaim to the heavens with a fist pump, i feel triumphant, and invincible and...

_Click click click_

The sound comes from unknown, but its close

_What is that, Is someone getting a call?_

The weird clicking noises continue, where are they coming from, I look around and notice ... they're from me, I look at my arms they are clear no hair, and even more so my fingers have no prints,

I have no DNA, or something, what in gods name...

_your incomplete from that merging shit, probably_

Something is tugging my hair, and look to see it reaches the floor, slipping out my head like snake, and it changes colors like a kaleidoscope, from red, orange, brown, light brown, black and blond,

"_No, what the hell, leave it black_" I shout at it confused by what it's doing with my hair

It responds to my command and stays a raven black,

"_Uumm, okay, go to hip length_" I say and it does so, but shoots up my head, '_bitch_' until it's to my hip and stays, so I can command my hair what to do, not strange at all, I'm then lost in thought about what else I can do when a large beeping noise bring me back to reality,

"_What the hell is that_" I say, turning my head to the side trying to bang the noise out my head, I twist my head to the wall and my eyes widen in terror,

_Crap! it's the bomb _

_Ha,Mass Effect 3, Damn it focus!_

and it has only 2 damn minutes left,

_oh god I hope it's as easy to fix as that damn phone_

* * *

_**Well that it chapter one, hope you liked it and aren't all that confused ,**__** so thanks again for reading and tell me what you think even if you think it sucked ass, a real story has to have bad comments too right**_

_**Note: so you can read this if you want, i'm just happy to say to be part of the Mass Effect fanfiction community , this is my first real committed fanfic in the mass effect universe, i have written some ninja turtle stuff but not from here , also i'm working on some art i,m going to use for the cover for each chapter but that's later in the story, i,m not going to stay full mass effect plot at least for the first one sorta, but you will notice some changes, i have a couple of ocs added soon and i will change the POV from Ocs and other characters, thanks again for reading, follow or fave the story if you like it, i also really appreciate reviews too**_

_**PM me if you had any other questions or whatever **_

Thanks :) from The Paragade Gamer


	2. The Lieutenant

_**Mass Effect: Twisted**_

_**Chapter 2**_

_**\- The Lieutenant -**_

My hands fumble as I reach the bomb connected to the wall

_So okay the drug hasn't killed me but I'm pretty sure this bomb will_

"Well I'm screwed" I whisper to myself, I look at the bomb it has 4 suction cup like parts drilled into the wall, and the timer read '1min 30sec', I try to take out my Omni-tool but I get nothing,

_How the hell do you use this shit_

I then bang my arm against the wall a couple of times, "work [bang] you [bang] damn [bang] thing"

_Okay maybe it's a voice command_

"Turn on, open, glow, power on, open sesame, Omni-tool activate" none of them work and I only have a minute left

_Fuck_

"Please" I cry into it, okay it time to use your extensive knowledge of mass effect to activate it, I put my hand on the bomb, nothing, I wave my hand up, nothing, I flip off the bomb, nothing, I'm sulked with defeat and my arm waves by the bomb as I sink to the floor, my Omni-tool flickers on

_Eureka, _

"Take that bitch" I yell at the Omni tool, then it dims down some, "No wait I'm sorry" I take back my pervious threat and it back glows on, the timer has only 22 seconds left

_Damn it, how does it take someone that long to start a damn Omni-tool_

I lock on to the bomb and a screen shows a thing similar to the mini game in mass effect 2, I match the cords to the correct sockets, I have 2 left when the timer shrieks" 5 seconds left"

_Oh god oh god, _

I connect one more,

2 seconds left

_Where the hells the cord, wait! there it is _

1 second left

And I punch the plug in the correct socket and then beeping noises stop, I sigh in great relief, "I'm alive, thank everything, I'm alive", I get up and then the reality sinks in,

_Holy fuck, I'm in Mass Effect_

A thousand thoughts stream into my head, "where am I? Where's Shepard? What year is this? Do I get a cool gun"," but most importantly "Who the hell am I?"

The walls around the room I'm in are reflective, I stare into one, my hair is still raven black and hangs to my hips, my face is similar to the lady I have become but it has some of me in there too, my features are strong but actually… sexy, I have purple eyes, violet or lavender i belive, guess they are contacts, I can't really see my figure, but it feels good, I take a scan of my armor then notice …_it's Alliance_

I search my Omni tool for all my files of who I am, my rank, and other crap like that, but all the data like that is purged, maybe I should get to alliance communications if i know where i am, I leave through the door and take an eye view of the landscape, it's wide and it has an artificial sky, the structures of buildings are bright and tall, I notice wear I am, the Citadel wards

_Oh my fucking god, this is unreal_

I come to notice all the species walking in front of me, Asari, Turian, Salarian, Volus, Elcor, and Krogan or two, they don't even notice me as I stare at the them,

The unreal mind blowing effects of all them like they are real and always were make me freeze, in what... horror? shock? delight? the incredible characters and societies, all the factors race through my mind, lets say i'm stuck here and somehow find Commander Shepard and somehow make myself useful to make it on the crew[which will probably not happen i couldn't hit a target if it were an inch away from me]

That wasn't that really true i had some experience with be-be guns and a hand gun a few times but these were impossible odds for Unstoppable people and I was nowhere near Unstoppable,

Now more importantly i knew the outcomes of their lives, and the galaxies... hopefully if the plot was the same, if i tried to change something it could change a thousand things, Fuck,this is worst then time travel

I start trying to walk casually among them and bump into a Krogan, which was my worst mistake "sorry" I mutter and scurry off' _don't want to die even before I start', real fucking smart to bump into a fucking krogan_, But he just shakes it off, in my scurry a Turian female clashes into me, I get up quickly and rush off not wanting everyone to notice

_God I'm a klutz, I need to get back on track , I need answers, who do I ask when i dont know which way to...oh god I sound like damn Dora the explorer... uh duh why didn't I think of it sooner,an Asari, uugg still sounding like Dora_

I wonder out the crowd and try to find one single off, '_There_' I decide walking towards an Asari who looks upset, I make it up to her, and I make an impulse to touch her face, I try to stop myself but I'm already doing it when she looks at me offended , I quickly move my hand

"oh I'm sorry, I just" wow, what was I going to say, _'I just wanted to touch your face to see if you were real_' yeah that's real smooth, I think of a thoughtful comment, " I just wanted to… see if our energies converged"

She looks at me and tilts her head, looking deeply in my face; maybe she is excepting me to say more

" I find your spirit, uhh, depressed ," I start, looking calmly at her, her face shows shock "you have suffered and it has damaged your strong confident shell" damn I sound like a fortune cookie, a pretty good one, but still a fortune cookie, the Asari is a pale blue with a very detailed pigment area, her face cries awe, and she touches mine, like she is going to cry

"How did you know?" she questions me, her eyes watering

_God why did she ask that_

"Your energy gives an aura of pain" I reply, having no idea where that came from, she then hugs me and I'm more confused than ever, but then I realize

_Damn, I'm smooth_

I release myself, and then say "you'll find yourself once you find home", and I run off,

_Guess watching all those lame romance movies paid off_

"Wait who are you?" she cries out, I don't reply because I don't even know that, and keep running until I reach an elevator, I walk in and the door is about to close when another human jams his hand in, and the doors open, he has a bright smile and blond hair, I view his uniform, its alliance too, maybe this guy has answers, we stand in the elevator silently , but then he glances over, and he perks up " hey you alliance too"

"Yes" I answer automatically

"What ship" he questions

"uhh—" I stuttered _, _

_Damn, let's see what ships do I know_ ,

But then I'm interrupted by the alliance guy

"Oh shit, I'm a douche, your Phyllis right? Engineer Phyllis" he responses, then face palms himself, for not knowing that

" uhh yeah" I say oddly, nodding slowly

_Phyllis ? Well this is bull I don't even get to choose my first name_

"Sorry, I didn't recognize you at first, your always down in the engines" he apologizes, smiling dumbfound at me

"Well I do enjoy my little spot down there" I answer blankly, making this stuff up as I go

"Well it's nice to see you come for light now and then" he utters, still smiling "So what are you doing over here?" he ask, trying to make small stuff I expect

_Guess Phyllis was not a social person, but she seemed so confident back then_

"Looking for an alliance communication hub" I react, being truthful

"Oh yeah, we have a station up in the Citadel Embassies, do you know where it is"

"I can find my way"

"No it not any problem, I'm not doing anything anyway, everyone around here is taking in toll from their hangovers from last night"

"Didn't you drink" I ask wondering where this guy's hangover is. And kinda hoping he had one, and would stop asking questions

"No, lost in shattered Eezo, and got stuck to be the designated driver, bastards" he whispers under his breath

_Huh well this guys is kinda funny, reminds me of Joker just without the limp, but there is a question that is really bugging my mind, should I ask him?_

_Screw it_

"yeah do you know today's date" I ask barley looking up,

The alliance guy eyes widen "so you _can_ ask the question first, interesting" he adds putting his hand on his chin like he has a beard and pretends to stroke it thinking, I just stare blankly, then he just shrugs the joke off and waves his hand, turns on his Omni-tool, " umm it's February 18th 2183, what have you been out a couple of days?", he asks concern, I still don't look up

_Alright, 2183 is the year Mass Effect 1 is played in, So this must be before Eden prime, and/or Shepard becomes a Spectre_

"I guess I would be too, after that Batarian ship knocked us out of the sky" the alliance guy carries on, looking kind of pissed

_Damn, how long is this elevator, and when were we attacked or Phyllis or whatever _

"Well at least we get shore leave, am I right" he shrugs, cooling down some

"Oh crap I just forgot" I say dramatically, maybe too dramatic because he looks strangely at me "it's on the tip of my tongue …" I start pointing at him repeatedly

"Oh" he says realizing what I was trying to say "I'm Craig, Craig Miller, 2nd lieutenant, it's a pleasure, I know" he says over confidently and we shake hands "and let me say it's a pleasure to meet you 1st lieutenant " and he lets go, I smile awkwardly, and try to look normal

_Okay these are how things are going so far, I'm Phyllis …something, 1__st__ lieutenant and engineer of the…, yeah that's it , damn what ship am I aboard, this is almost crucial information _

_I need—_

I'm interrupted in thought by the elevator door opening and a synthesized female voice says, "Citadel Embassies"

_More time is what I need first _

Me and Miller walk out the elevator, I try to walk more casually, Miller is about to part ways when he turns back and asks "are you sure?"

_Sure, sure about what… of yeah, well it best to keep someone I …know along, I guess_

"To the hub, well yes, it's a big citadel you know" trying to act shy and confused

_Guys usually help chicks like that, Right?_

"You know I couldn't even find my apartment yesterday" I say hesitantly,

_I don't know why I said that, Damn I hope it doesn't lead to more questions_

"I check your drift, anyway the Hub is this way" he points over to the left, and we start walking, then he starts talking about some bar crap, but I'm not listening, I stroll along astonishingly gazing at the sites, I pass a Hanar or two,

_God it's creepy how they move_

And a group of Turians diplomats, I stop for a moment at a familiar lake by a bridge and watch the water ripple,

_God it's beautiful, damn near gorgeous, I can't believe I'm right here or even anywhere near this, oh I wonder if I get to see Shepard, I bet she is so awesome_

Then a grim fact remains in me

_What the hell do I get to do in this universe, I'm probably a crap character who dies quickly and gets replaced by someone else, like Jenkins _

"Hey" calls a voice, I snap back to the situation, it's Miller, he comes over to me "you okay?" he questions looking at me with sympathy, I gulp,

_No I'm not okay I was fucking confused and worried _

"Yeah" I lie, no reason to tell this guy the truth, even if I did he wouldn't believe me and who would, "I just need to get to the hub" I reply " so how is our girl" I ask wanting to keep my mind off of things

"Those Batarians hit us hard, " Miller starts, his tone more serious and grim "but we only got a day or two until she is up and flying, the SSV avenger is one tough ship, and it will do as it name says"

"You mean get payback"i continue,I'm worried by the answer

_Where did that fun-ish [yeah, that's a word now] guy go, something pretty bad must have happen on the ship_

"Exactly" he adds coldly

Then we continue to walk on for about another minute in silence,

"Well here it is" exclaims Miller, opening his arms in a showcase fashion to introduce the small office, "go to the lady at the desk and she'll direct you to the check in spot"

We just stand there awkwardly for a couple of moments, then I say "well thanks for the help", and start to walk off, then Miller shouts "hey wait"

What" I reply looking back

_What does he want now?_

"Here" he response and takes out his Omni-tool to send me a file, "it's my number …like just incase"

"Thanks" I answer back

_Wow I'm such a dick, he just helped me out, and I just wanted to get rid of him_

"I'll see you around Craig" I yell back friendly, or at least I think it sounded friendly, god I really hope I sounded friendly

I proceed into the alliance colored building, a flashing sign on the side says "the alliance wants you", and has some solders pointing, the doors click open and I walk to the receptionist at the desk,

"Hello ma'am, how may I help you" she asked, looking up from her paperwork

"Oh umm" what was I going to ask her, I had to lot of questions on my minds,

_Okay may calm down, let's just get some basic stuff_

"_I'd_ like to see my file" I request, the receptionist points over to this high tech phone booth looking thing

"That is data core, where you can extract personal data but the V.I will need your fingerprint to prove it's you" she replies happily

"Thank you" I utter as I walk to the data core, and squish myself in, my armor is medium so it takes me a second to get in,

"Welcome to the alliance data core, please give vital proof of identification" it requests as a small pad pops out of a slot,

Oh god I hope I have her fingers,

I Scan my hands and notice the clicking noises are faint, my DNA is complete for all my body except the my fingertips,

_I wonder why it was rewriting itself in the first place, probably to finish the unification process or whatever crap that goddess said_

I hesitantly move my thumb to the pad and feel the small vibrations of a scanner come on, "DNA excepted," chimes the synthesized voice

_Hell yes , thank you Phyllis_

"Granting access to Data file of, 1st lieutenant Phyllis, of SSV Avenger, Engineer Chief and Resistance Expert", then a small data pad pops out the slot replacing the scanning pad, I skim over it quickly, my eyes widen , chest fallen

_No… this can't be right _

_**Data file of First lieutenant N/A, Phyllis of the Alliance military**_

_**First Name: N/A**_

_**Last Name: Phyllis**_

_**Age: 28**_

_**Date of Birth: N/A, 2155**_

_**Place of birth: N/A**_

_**Status: Purged**_

_**Rank: First Lieutenant**_

_**Vessel: SSV Avenger **_

_**Position: Chief Engineer and Resistance Expert **_

_**Specialties: Sabotage, Sniper…other data not available **_

_**Enlisted: N/A, 2173**_

_**Known Relatives: N/A**_

_**Last Update: January 17**__**th**__**, 2183**_

_**Special Accomplishments: N/A**_

_**End of File **_

_Nothing, this hardly tells me nothing, I'm a nobody_

I stare more intensively at the file, rereading every word again; the only word that really strikes me is '_purged_', what does that mean, my status has been purged, am I dead, was I MIA, who knows , well not this file, I drop the datapad to the ground, and zombie walk out the core, shame and disappointment glow on my face, I'm about to exit when I bump into someone,

"sorry" I mumble, not even looking up

"Lieutenant Phyllis" commands the voice, I jolt straight up, shocked by the voice, it sounds familar " Look at an officer when you speak to him/her"

I turn my head slowly and straighten my posture, I see his face

"Admiral Hackett!" I shriek

_Wow that sounded very official, _

"My, uuhh, apologies, sir I just, er, retained some bad news, but I know that doesn't excuse my behavior" I stutter helplessly,

_God that is how I act in front of Admiral Hackett, they might as well discharge me now_

"What is it lieutenant_" _he asks, then he comes in closer to me and mumbles "is it about your mission"

_My mission, what mission?_

"Yes, I need to give you the stats" I whisper under my breath, looking definitely at Hackett,

_Maybe the Admiral can recap me on the mission, and explain my file, he has to be able to, this is god damn Admiral Hackett were talking about_

"This way then" he replies pointing towards a secure elevator, we tread silently into it and Hackett types some coordinates in, and the elevator scans us, after a "Security scan complete" we travel down, I glance by at Hackett

Hell he looks old, but has a pride to it thought, his face is somewhat scarred, but I guess that comes from all that experience, and was I assigned a mission by him,

We leave the elevator as soundlessly as we came in; the level we are on has lots of guards and security,

Why the hell couldn't you come here during the game?

The details were fantastic; solders men and women alike were crossing by, some looking shady and others on tech , the room had a silver walling and a dark roof, there were large crates labeled '_supplies_' or '_armor_', I gaze childishly at the object like

_Oohh whats that , ahh whats this do_

I come back to sense and give myself a metal slap

_Idiot were supposed to be finding your past not sightseeing _

I proceed over with Hackett into his office I guess and he offers me a seat

I take it politely, Hackett's old blue eyes stare long and decisive into mine,

I feel like I'd something wrong, I want to confess

"Now if you please lieutenant, explain" he says breaking the dead silence

"Excuse me Admiral could you please tell me how much you know" I request politely as I can, he keeps a dead stare at me still, and I feel more tense, but he sighs and answers

"You have not told me that much, but what you have is that you wanted your files purged, you didn't explain why but you didn't what anyone finding anything about your relations to other people, I asked why and you replied—

"Cerberus" I interrupt, not maybe my best move, but I had to say it, I don't even know where it came from but I knew it was true, the end of my/Phyllis life ended with Cerberus, so the mission must be too

"Yes, and you said they were coming after you because you knew something, but you could not tell me because it could put me as well as my loved ones in danger too" he continued

Then it hit me, like a slap to the face, maybe these weren't my memories but I could see them, like I was in them most were blank and blurs, but I had a clear one of what happen, when I learned the truth of my past…

…_I wasn't human_

_**Hope you guys liked that chapter, now things start to heat up and some truth is discovered**_

_**Next chapter is a short-ish [yeah that's a word now too] Flashback one, so don't be all on snooze because it won't be all that bad**_

_**I would like to thank my first followers though**_

_**SoMuchGerry [Can you every have too much Gerry? Also my computer is crap and italicized just about everything, but I got it fixed now, so yay]**_

_**ShepardisaBOSS [Awesome name by the way]**_

_**DocBrown13 [ So is it cool to be a doctor, or what]**_

_**TheMysteriousOtaku [ so how Mysterious are you, you don't have to answer because I guess that would ruin the mystery]**_

_**Tadwin [thanks for reading]**_

_**ragnar thorson[ it's great to have you following me **__**]**_

_**Quote for the Chapter By Me: When things look screwed look for Grunt**_

_**When things look lost look for Commander Shepard **_

_**When things need Calibrating look for Garrus Vakarian **_

_**Gamer2747 9/15/2014**_

_**Mass effect Quote for the Chapter:**_ _**In the year 2148, explorers on Mars discovered the remains of an ancient spacefaring civilization. In the decades that followed, these mysterious artifacts revealed startling new technologies, enabling travel to the furthest stars. The basis for this incredible technology was a force that controlled the very fabric of space and time. They called it the greatest discovery in human history. The civilizations of the galaxy call it... MASS EFFECT."**_

_**[ The beginning , my most favorites of quotes, ' When gamer2747 got 6 followers on chapter1 of her story , the civilizations of the galaxy called it…**_

_**Ehh, Okay ]**_

_**Just to make you laugh quote: **_

_**Engineer Gabriella Daniels: So Kenneth, do you know we've got a crazy woman squatting down in the sub-deck? **_

_**Kenneth Donnelly: What? If she touches anything, I'll kill her. **_

_**Engineer Gabriella Daniels: Oh, and the only thing she wears from the waist up is tattoos. **_

_**Kenneth Donnelly: Oh! Maybe I should go down and welcome her aboard. **_

_**Engineer Gabriella Daniels: And she's a murderer who has biotic powers that could crush you in a blink. Hates everyone in Cerberus. **_

_**Kenneth Donnelly: Damn it girl! Stop toying with me!"**_

_**Me:2**_


	3. My Past Is Yours

_Note: Stay tuned or linked or whatever the hell the internet does because some serious shit is about to go on_

Twisted Effect

Chapter 3

My Past is Yours

_Intro_

_May 1__st__,2155, a small child is born giggling at her new home, her parents loved and cared for her, but then one day her mother died ,and her father was crushed, and that started the abuse, which left to her running away, and then the worst became, she was no longer herself again, nor she would never be_

**Now**

The horrific images flash inside my head, a small cell, hours of pain, and many, many tears, I see them from my eyes, but I know they are not mine, but then it hits me

_They are mine, at least now they are_

I must take on the mission of Lieutenant Phyllis, and finish what she started; I have blurs of her pain and the experiments but none of the pieces of the puzzle are fully connected, the part that really bugs me is the not being human part, I don't have on the spot details, just damn memory flashes of a guy saying "DNA finally altered…subject 13 likely to die like the rest but well keep trying…. Unify us like no other…Genetic destiny " he sounds pretty mental to me, but the part that really confirms my statement from before

_I wasn't human_

Was because of one of the second clearest memory I could find,

_**Flashback**_

The air was cold, no that was a lie everything was cold, I couldn't see anything due to the fact my eyes were shut, I could still hear and think though, think of a damn way to get out of here, I've been partly in cryo freezing for about a day, but damn why did my skin feel like it was burned off then put fried back on again but the new layer felt different… really different,

I listen for footsteps treading in to wherever I am, all I know it is hell, it's been 3 months since the day god forsaken me but-

"Yes , this is Subject 13" reports one of the demons in the white coats, I stop thinking to listen, and he continues "she is 42% Human, 21%Asari, 10%Turian, 10%Vorcha, 8%Krogan, and 9%Salarian, her appearance remains human thought but she exhibits traits from…." Then my mind movie ends from there, with my eyes in horror and the burning of my skin grows to a numb feeling and then I can't feel anything

* * *

Like the goddess said she was to protect and defend the weak, and do whatever it takes to do what's right, but '_why_' was the real question, after all that crap ,she would have been expected to care about nothing,…

The clearest flashback is only the one that tells me how I/Phyllis got to that hell hole

…...

* * *

_**Flashback **_

_**The White Coats**_

I rush through the crowds as the officer chases me,

"Stop you thief, stop" he screams after me

I may have knocked down a few civilians in the process of escaping, but I have no time to help them up, my adrenaline boils as I get closer to the exit

_Ahh yes the exit, my quick getaway spot, right under an old phone booth, my little underground sanctum, _

"There it is", I sigh, catching my breath, I click a small switch hidden in a lamp pole, and it opens up, I dive in as I hear the marching footsteps tread, the latch barely closes as the officers are over me, I chew heavily on the bread I 'got' from the convenience store, and allow it to sink in, they leave away cursing, I laugh but then choke on the crumbs, it takes a couple of hours for the streets to remain quiet,

When it does, I exit from my hidey-hole, and enjoy the slights of the streets; some are filled with eye catching lights, others with awesome technology, I feel a sudden strike of fear right in my chest and notice I have been lingering too long

_I'm being watched or something_

I twist around and run off into the forest,

_Yeah I know nature, it's hardly impossible to find real trees now a day _

I continue jogging but stop for a second to tie my shoes,

_Over the loop and down the-_

There is a quick brushing sound that startles me; my eyes survey the area,

_Probably just the wind_

Well it wasn't the wind, and I was screwed, or at least I know that now

The needle came out of nowhere as it whizzed past my face, almost cutting my cuticle, it crashed into a tree and the liquid in it explodes, splatting onto the ground, I try to make an attempt to run but trip over my shoelace

_God damn it, curse you shoelaces… uuhhh I mean, dang it, bad shoelaces_

"Sorry mom" I mutter not to upset my mother, wherever the heck she is, she might be dead but I still care when she said don't curse, but thankfully the trip saved me from a brigade of bullets, and I hurry and gather myself up, and start darting deeper in the trees

I think I've outrun whoever was chasing me, but I listen carefully, then like a flash, a jeep-like vehicle blasts out of nowhere and a masked man with a white coat aims right at me as another drives, and the gun blares I try to dive out the way but several have hit me in the thigh, and a barrel more spike my chest, the venom in the tube seeps into my blood, the world is no longer clear, and I fall face first to the roots on the ground with a hard '_thump_' my eyelids wont open, I can't lift my body, but I try to resist as much as possible, then when nothing can move no more, I can only hear

"Target, out cold…..bringing back… feisty one" reports a solid and hard voice, and then I lose consciousness

…...

* * *

_**Now, again**_

I'm falling, I was just sitting in a chair but now I'm falling into nothing, yeah that makes sense, then I thump into a plain white floor of nothing

_What The Fuck, not here again_

"what" I shout, "I can't be dead again, I just started"

"You have a mission, you must be on task", comes a familiar voice from nowhere, I moan and slowly turn around a raise an eyebrow distastefully, and it's the goddess lady again

_Wow I really have to get a new name for her, or it, or whatever the fuck she is, maybe Gl or LG, and I can tell her to say life's good, damn that would be funny_

I smile about the thought, looking at nowhere and then

"Focus is a key priority, you must maintain—"starts the goddess, frowning sternly at my lack of attention

" it to complete my mission and crap, yada yada yada, I know," I twist my hand in a circle wave, and lean carelessly to the side " but tell me something doll face , how the hell am I supposed to do that if you wrap me out from reality " I have no idea where the cockiness and the mafianess[ that's a word now too] came from, well I do but you usually don't speak like this to a goddess, even if was she's a confusing jerk

"I repeat myself from before, you must stay on task looking into your past is not using your time wisely, for you have already lived it" she states all divine like, but her face emotionless

"I can do want ever I want with my-, " I blank out for a moment

Wait… did she say my past,

"What no, you're lying, I have a past and that wasn't it," I snap, hesitantly, was she lying, yes, she had to be, there was no other explanation,

_I'm from regular earth, not video game land or dimension or whatever the fuck I got sucked in _

"I do not speak lies, but I now realize that your human comprehension is not as well as mine"

" what do you mean… about not lying" I ask tempted but worried, also I didn't care about the slower comprehension comment cause that's how all omniscience bastards were, ' _oh I'm all wise, and humans have lower sense, feel my wrath_' I think mockingly, imaging a Zeus looking guy striking lightning arrogantly on people

"That may not have been who you were before but is who you are now" replies the goddess "when you transitioned here you took all your past with you, now here it becomes a reality yet more gruesome…

I open my mouth to speak, more lost and confused as ever, but she holds up a hand "please before you ask, I request you look for similarities first, of your life and the lieutenant's"

Well let's see I wasn't fucking kidnapped when I was young, or put out on the streets, so this shit helps me in , … No way, also I never been in the damn army, in my real life I would have been shot on the first day, I then imagine myself all pumped up about being in the army but as soon as we get out into the field I scream " woo yeah, lets kick some-" then I get sniped in the head,

_Yup that's exactly how it would happen_

These thoughts go through my head making it seem that the goddess is lying, but then I think of the flash back, woods, chases, shot down…..Holy crap that's sort of the way I got my ass here,

_But that doesn't mean anything, just sort of a coincidence ….right_

"No" replies the goddess reading my thoughts "like I said before, the events are similar but more gruesome, for an example, your parents were separated when you were young living you in a distress point-"

"So I get kidnapped here" I interrupt trying to seem like I get it but I'm lost as hell,

"Yes and no, some of the events of your past life here are already chosen for your but not in full detail or with many similarities to your life back on your earth"

_So wait, is this like, no, maybe, damn it probably_

"So your telling me it's like in my pre-mass effect profile is being transferred to mass effect like in the games" that's the only way any of this crap load of crap could make even a tiny bit of sense

" if that helps your process of thinking then yes, in the end the most simple way to explain this to you human mind is that your were from your past home on earth 12, now your are in earth 13 in your earth 13 self, which is still you but in an earth 13 way"

"So are we talking about dimensional travel?" I guess that makes sense but at the same time doesn't, so all I really get is I'm me just in a different dimension with a more fucked up past, okay sure that explains some crap but why am I here and why do I know what going to happen, maybe the dimension isn't the same as the mass effect story

"So wait why didn't you tell me this before" I ask my temper rising, giving all this crap info would have been useful before I started

"I shall not speak of it no more you are requested elsewhere" commands the goddess, raising her arms to send me away

_Fuck, anytime I'm close to anything, I get fucked in or out where I came from _

I still have more questions and why I'm here, but I know goddess like to confuse you with that shit, but there is one question that is really bugging me

"Wait" I scream as the blinding light comes, and I get picked up by wind "what's your name"

I look directly at her lips and in slow motion she then mouths "you can call me _Veda_"

Then I'm flashed back to where I was with Hackett

Admiral Hackett still stares at me straightly, I wonder how long I have been out, not that long I suspect, I would have been bring to med by now, I want to respond but then I notice he's not blinking,

"uuh, excuse me" I'm not replied, he still just stares, I wave my hands some all up in his face,

_Oh god is he buffering or glitching or something, oh shit does that mean I've been in the game , or maybe he is having a seizure_ ,

I get up to get help and feel suddenly lighter, I look down at myself and shout

"Fuck, I'm a ghost again" cause I am, I'm all transparent and floating, wait I'm floating, when did that happen, you know what whatever, out of all the shit that has happen in the last few hours floating is the least of my worries

"Where are you Veda, what the hell did I do now" I scream to the roof, I expect nothing cause goddess answer your call for shit, unless your dying,

_Well you're a ghost, aren't you kinda dead?_

"Good useless point me" I shout at thoughts,

"You know, talking to yourself is a symptom of insanity" comes a voice from nowhere,

"Well last time I checked, being in one of your favorite video games in real life doesn't make you seem all mentally stable" I snap, I don't even turn around to see what I'm fucking talking to, because I don't really care, at least not all that much, plus this voice was male so it couldn't be Veda, well maybe it could if she's a damn goddess you can do anything in reality

"Wow you sound pissed" the voice adds with a sociable tone, but doesn't sound all that concerned, I turn my head to see the one using the voice, he is a male, and has broad shoulders, a dashing face, wavy brown hair and a close trimmed bread which makes him look like golden eye 0012, the Jim bond addition, and the damn suit with the bow tie isn't helping me not think that, I think he noticed me staring and says looking down at his suit

"Oh sorry too formal" then snaps his fingers, there's some smoke but his clothes change into a more casual look, "sorry trying to make a good first impression, being a guardian and all" he continues as casually as his clothes

"Well you must be in the wrong place cause I don't need a guardian" I answer roughly, first off I already got a goddess on my back I don't need a guardian too, and second I can handle myself without Jim bond over here

"Okay, sorry my bad, not great first impression" he says noticing the tone of anger in my voice "I'm really not the greatest with the humans", his casual confidence is gone and he acts more worried

_Well that wasn't offensive at all_

"So you're telling me that this crap happens to Turians or something as well"

"Well yes"

_What.. The ..Fuck_

"It's easier to explain to them, but rarely do we ever get a human"

"Okay now you're telling me that you guys are pick and choosing, what the hell is this some even more fucked up version of the hunger games" I scream raising my arms hysterically

"You know I shouldn't have told you that, but no it's not like that, the thing is they start…, never mind just forget that, I'm just here to get you started" he stutters trying to get back to his focus

"What do you mean, started for what?"

"To fill in your past"

_Okay, my attention is taken_

"You know, you should have started off with that" I reply, because this dude was sucking ass at explaining shit or at least doing it all wisely

"Yeah maybe, but here" he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a sliver tube,

_Is this guy on drug and that's his tube? Is he giving me drugs?_

Then he clicks a button somewhere and it appears to be a hella cool looking datapad , and hands it to me, I take it hesitantly "this is your file, it's not really going to be kept in the physical world but… well let me let you give it a try, but with a warning once it's done its permanent"

_Oh god an omniscient warning, like that helps _

The file is has complex data from my childhood and teen past but nothing is filled out,only my year of birth and other little things are filled out,

"Wait where's the rest " I ask

"What do you mean?" he says confused

"I mean _the rest_ about the alliance, and my other past after my teens" I tell him, there is crap on the file to fill out after my teens

"Oh yeah, I'll tell you later" he waves my question off

_Damn omniscience people_

"Well that helps" I roll my eyes

"Just finish the file" he snaps

After looking down some I find something eye catching,

_My class,ooohhhhh, now things get interesting _

The file reads

* * *

_**The File**_

_**Key: **_Y/C means You Choose, O means options

_**First Name:**_ Y/C

_**Middle name:**_ Y/C

_**Last Name: **_Phyllis

_**Mother name:**_ Y/C

_**Father name:**_ Y/C

_**Other Relatives:**_ Y/C

_**Specialties:**_ Sniper, Resistance, and Y/C

[My eyes scan pass some other stuff but I attention myself to classes]

_**Classes:**_ Y/C: O: Infiltrator, Vanguard, Sentinel or _N7 Shadow Slayer_

Okay I know the classes of Mass Effect Soldier, Adept, Engineer, infiltrator, Vanguard and Sentinel, and the classes in multiplayer

There is a N7 Shadow Infiltrator and a N7 Slayer Vanguard, [ and a bunch more]but what the fuck is a N7 Shadow Slayer, it sounds pretty bad ass to tell you the truth, so it couldn't be bad, I want to choose it but the guardian guy tells me, once I make my choice its permanent, this class could be crap

"So what's a N7 Shadow Slayer ?" I inquire to the guardian,

_Maybe he can help, probably not_

"Your right I can't" he answers automatically, reading my thoughts

_Oh so now he can't let things slip and not be omniscience, douche_

I go into _The File_, and decide to make the choice of N7 Shadow Slayer; damn I really hope it's good, my body starts to twitch some and I feel like throwing up_, The file_ starts to vibrate some and then a male synthesized voice acknowledges me "Main Class chosen: N7 Shadow Slayer, biotic sniper, with well combat experience, has no amp but status of great biotic ability"

"Wait what, shouldn't I have to start at low biotic status or something" I ask

"No, your part Asari as well as have N7 training and past trauma that makes your biotics stronger, if you were even anywhere close to a low level it wouldn't be unethical"

"Wait, why am I so fucked up in my DNA, couldn't I have been just human but now I'm some screwed science experiment" I yell, spitting some,

I really was wondering that, why couldn't I just be like Jack or something but no I'm part Krogan and shit, this isn't really all that bad cause krogan are awesome but god Krogan are ugly, and I really don't want a quad or something

"That's for you to find out"

"Bitch" I whisper under my breath

"Also,You never really relied on your biotics after …uuummm, what happened, but you do have an L1 amp which is really hard to use but extremely powerful, and pretty old so the file couldn't really recognize it"

"But I have no amp" I point out

Then I think about _The File_

_It's a device from an omniscience being but it isn't omniscience, yeah that makes sense_

But then I let it pass to the back of my head, and get to a more positive note

_Okay now things get fun, endless possibilities, awesome weapon choices, bad ass biotics, and a fucked up past which makes me more bad ass, nothing could go wrong with this, okay except maybe my organs and stuff, which I'm really hoping aren't total crap_

I'm about to get back to _The File, _when behind the guardian figure is a dim figure of Phyllis, she looks emotionless and blank, but transparent and ghostly like me, I stare wondrously thinking

_What the hell_

And then she faintly whispers

"_My past is Yours" _

And vanishes as quickly and quietly as she came

* * *

_**So yeah that was a flashback like chapter, sorta explaining some stuff, the next chapter is kinda similar but things get back to action in chapter 5**_

_**So I would like to thank the following for following me Now**_

_**DavidJ647 [ Thanks David]**_

_**Dr3w101 [Don't know how to pronounce your name but thank you]**_

_**Eclipse-Sol [ cool name, and thanks for your support]**_

_**Jess94Phase [ you rock, thanks Jess]**_

_**XRaiderV1 [ so do you like the raiders or are you just a raider, so damn awesome to have a fave from you] **_

_**chinas [ real happy you liked it, thanks for the fave]**_

_**Lightningeye [ OMG, thanks for the awesome review and for faving me I'm so happy to get a positive one ]**_

I love all reviews thought

sorry if I forgot anybody

_**Everybody loves Aria**_

**Shepard: **_How do you plan to get Omega back?_

**Aria:**_ I think I'm going to employ violence._

_Me: Dont Fuck with Aria you assholes, or she will get Biotic on your ass_

**_A Toast For The Generic Bosh'et [ or at least right before it]_**

**Tali:** Shepard! Want a drink?

**_Shepard:_** So… how are you getting drunk, anyway?

**Tali:** Very carefully. Turian brandy… tripled filtered and introduced into the suit through this… emergency induction port.

**Shepard:** That's a straw, Tali.

**Tali:** Emergency. Induction. Port.

_Me: yeah, Fuck straws, Tali is the Shit and don't you ever get that wrong, or she will shotgun your ass back to whatever what ever hole from dark space you came from Pyjaks_

_**Chapters will be posted whenever :P**_


	4. Filling In The Blanks Sort of

_Welcome to Chapter 4 My people, sorry it took so long I'm still alive didn't die or anything, well enough of my shit you probably want to read this so here it is_

_Note: I don't own Mass Effect or any of its characters, or IPad or Windows or Mortal Kombat Characters, or America's next top model or … hell, what the fuck aren't I using in this chapter an Easy Bake Oven, damn it, okay I don't own that either let's just get to the story_

**Twisted Effect**

**Chapter 4**

_**Filling In The Blanks…Sort of**_

The thought of what the hell is happening to me lingers in my head, along with a bunch of other crap

_I wasn't human_

_Where's Shepard_

_Holy shit I'm in Mass Effect_

But most importantly what Phyllis said

_My past is yours_

"Well that is true" interrupts the guardian, I raise an eyebrow,

_What does that mean? It is true?_

But he just stares blankly

_Fucking gods and shit can read minds but not expressions, how great are they?_

I have now made the choice of an N7 Shadow Slayer, I still feel like throwing up and I wait for something… Else to happen? The guardian told me about something come; I then stare strangely at the guardian with a look that makes him say

"What do I have something on my face" he inquires suddenly feeling his face

_Yeah like that thing you call a face, burrrnn_

_Oh god, who mocks people in their head_

_Uh duh you_

_Shut up _

But anyway I shouldn't be thinking that because his face is pretty decent looking, if he wasn't such a serious dick, he might be okay to stand, you know whatever is this thing that's supposed to come going to come or not

"No, but what the hell I'm I looking for, I made a choice and then I feel like crap, is that it"

"Well not exactly it's…" he is about to continue on, then stops because he probably was going to tell me something he shouldn't …again, but catches himself I then silently whisper under my breath "damn"

"Never mind, that's not important; you need to make a choice of your past to feel the effect" he tells me, then he ponders to himself for a moment "Like choose what your parents name were" he suggest, shrugging his shoulders

_Damn I better make this good I don't really want my parents with crap names, well maybe my father because he seems like a total dickwad,_

I then scroll down to my parents name and think of nice girl names

_Karen, Jane, uuumm, Hannah, no that's Shepard's mom, well only if she's a spacer, but I usually choose earthborn, but whatever that's off topic, so let's see theres…_

_Amy, and Jennifer and… wait I got it_

I click my mother's name and put

**Mother's name:** _Katelyn Collins _

Yeah that sounds good, Katelyn Collins is not a lame name, it sounds … normal, kinda pretty, damn why couldn't I have that as my name, it's not my real mom's name but it sounds nice, I start thinking what she would look like, then out of nowhere I feel a shock of pain like that bullet reentered my brain, and then I see flashes of kind eyes that belong to a blond haired woman, she's shortish but has a strong features, and brown eyes, she smiles gently into my direction

_Mom _thinks a part of me

I then feel a wave of depression and gloom and a longing pain that makes me stumble like I really been hit, and see a vision of a crying girl, I want to cry too

"So now you feel it huh" he says with a smug look that says 'you look like you got fucked up'

_So not any 'are you okay', or something this guy sure has manners,_

But I did feel something besides the pain, like a small sense of happiness, but I couldn't let that show

"You're supposed to be my guardian but you want me to experience pain, why the fuck am I stuck in backwardsville" I question out loud, cause this was kinda… wait, no, this is bull, do these so called Gods [or whatever] know the definition of guardian, or did they make up their own, my thoughts are about to ramble on about the fucked up spirits or whatever, when my thinking is stopped by…

"Well the vexes can make everything seems that way, but this pain will help you learn, that is my main priority" says the guardian looking wisely

"What in god's name is a vexes," I remark instantly

"A flashback, vision, or in your terms an experience that makes you feel like crap" he responds using finger quotations

_Ah finger quotes, a classic emphasis of things _

"Well I do have a way with words" I smirk, proud of that one, then a grimmer thought pops into my head, it was a question

_I don't want to ask it, but I need some answers_

"Wait," I say slowly

God I hope I'm wrong

"So how many times do I have to deal with that," I ask hesitantly, my stomach turns as I remember the length of the list

"Well you may not like the answer" says he uncertainly, his voice wavering

_Damn, my suspicions are confirmed_

"Screw you! I'll just leave it blank" I snap and throw _The File_ to him he catches it with ease,

_I won't deal with that shit over a hundred times, hell, once was enough, it not like it's important_

"Really" he ask smugly

"Really, you got problem with that bitch" I barked instantly at his smug face, for real I wasn't going to take this crap anymore, my life and my shit getting fucked up, turned 5000 degrees then crapped out over by bastard gods who think they rule me, damn it fucking sucks to be Percy Jackson, and you know the worst part of it all is they won't answer shit

_Well maybe you aren't questioning enough _

Shut up me

"No but you will," the guardian says interrupts my thoughts, "do you really think you can make it in this world with a small messed up past, and only biotics and your mother's name"

_He was kinda right, I'm kinda screwed, and have nothing, but I needed a comeback he can't be right, I won't let him be right_

"Well Jack had about that" I mutter it was kinda true, Jack did start off with shit, but she didn't know that the world she was in was a video game, so it's not exactly the same but close enough

"Maybe but when or even if you do make it to Shepard," he starts, then he pauses for a moment to look at the shocked look on my face "yes I know your goal," he adds

_Should have expected that, he can read minds_

"What if anyone asks you anything about your past, what about Hackett here, you got nothing to report to him"

"I can make it up" I reply automatically

"No he's checking, and you need _The File_ to report to him"

"Fuck" I mutter, he was right, bastard, I can't just leave. Phyllis did have a life I guess, she had people she knew…hopefully, and the file is the only thing that helps answers questions about that

"So stop complaining, and fill it out, it won't get as bad as time passes" he commands tossing back _The File, _I catch it without trouble, but I have a pissed look on my face as I do it

_You know this is bull, _I think infuriated

_But I have no other options, so I guess I'll have to ride this bull all the way to the pain of hell_

Damn I'm being too dramatic, where the fucks my scarf that I let it blow gracefully in the wind as I stare toughly in the distance… oh wait I got this file to deal with, why do I get so off topic.

"Guess I'm going to have to deal with it" I reply shrugging my shoulders trying to act cool about it, but of course I wasn't,

Suddenly I fell a little mischievous "Wait before we start" I say with my hand up, and droop my head tiredly

"What" he ask looking a little annoyed

"Can I get a damn break" I response with a gloomy, exhausted expression, and start slump some

He ponders for moment, but then looks apologetic "sorry I wasn't thinking, yes this must be troubling, all this throw at-

I then get up immediately, and straighten my posture

"God your slow, just because I'm a woman doesn't mean I can't handle a little crap headache" I reply coolly, acting like I wasn't tired from before

_Sexist much, _I think very loudly in my head

_Can you even think loud… whatever_

"Wait what I didn't mean because you were femal-"he starts flailing and scrambling his hands

I laugh, waving my hand downward for him to stop, god I'm such a bitch

_He really thinks I meant that, dumbass… Wait, Holy shit I can trick gods [or whatever] _

I then imagine a roaring crowd, and a football score board, and it says:

_May: 1 Gods: Nothing_

"You know what I'm going to keep you Bond, it's real fun to fuck with you" I say, proud of that one, maybe dealing with this crap won't be that bad, and I don't know this guy's name so he is going to be Jim bond, the way less cooler and smooth cousin of James

_Is it bad to have tenancy to fuck with people and confuse them,… and enjoy it, probably but it's fun_

I get back to the list, already to deal with this shit, well not really you can't just be ready to get your damn mind fucked but I was ready as I would ever be

I tried to type something into the file, but nothing would write, I keep trying

Maybe I'm not clicking the right thing; I try a few more times

Still nothing

_Damn_

I look up at the Guardian

"Is this some kind of Joke" I snap

"What…" he ask looking strangely at me, then ponders for a moment "oh yeah, your human, yes, I got to explain some things"

"So what the fuck, you couldn't told me this sooner, not when I'm ready maybe, no that would have been a terrible time" I snap, with a hint of sarcasm if you couldn't hear it

"Sorry I forgot, I'm new okay" he replies his hands up in defense

"You're a god but you …forgot" I reply looking interested, yet confused

"Whoa, whoa wait who said me being a god"

"Or spirit guide or whatever" I say

"No, I'm just a guardian, there are no gods" he answers back suddenly stiff

"Wait what about 'God'" I whisper, pointing up,

"Do you really want to talk about religion?" he responses seriously

_He was right I didn't, I'm not really all that of a religious person, especially after I get fucked into a video game world or dimension, and I really wasn't going to believe in god after this shit _

"How the fuck do you do all that shit then,"

"Well-Not important, I've just been sent to guard you during the beginning phase"

"Okay timeout" I start, using the football sign to make my point "can we just start at the beginning, like who are you, who or what is Veda, why am I here?"

_Yeah let's start off with some basic questions, those sound good_

"You don't need to know that right now, we are here to complete your file"

_Damn, they might have sounded better if they were really answered_

"Well we could do that if I could type anything"

"Just wait a moment" he says with his hand up, and makes full eye contact with me "I. Forgot. To. Explain." He continues slowly making every word a sentence, talking to me like I'm 5

_Well that's just great _

Then he gets back to regular pace "you're only allowed to input 3 things, your name, your parent's name, and your class, the rest is based off your memories and DNA"

"Nice to know, maybe like 5 minutes ago" I say nonchalantly, flicking my wrist

"Please just get over it" he says annoyed "you need the information in The File to be transferred into your memory, so you'll be able to access it any time" he continues acting wise again, "If like they were your own memories, which they kind of ar— uh I mean, let's get you those memories "

_He and that letting shit slip thing, uugg_

For real he has to learn how to stop that, well for his sake, I could using it for my own advantages [rubbing hands evil- like in my mind]

_Damn, devious much, ugg I'm such a bitch_

"Well how do I do that, Sir ForgetsALot" I question

But what did he mean they kind of are ?...

"With this" he says and whips something out from behind his back like a magician, and tosses me a little black box

_Oohh magic—I mean, oh magic whatever_

"Oh my gosh what is it" I squeal, catching the box

Ahh yes squealing very tough

_Fuck you, _

_I'm you—_

_Shut up you know what I mean_

I hold the box delicately in my hands and I start to open it like in TV shows when it takes it 5 hours for them to open the envelope to see who America's next top model or something

I finally open the box, and it's revealed to contain…

"Dude, what the fuck" I shout, holding what was in the box in the air "this is a fucking USB cord" I turn to the wall "a god damn USB cable" I continue talking to no one, No fucking shit I was holding a green USB cable in my hand, like the one I or you or anyone plugs into a damn IPad

"This is not any USB cord" Jim says seriously and big eyed "it's a USB cable that connects into your brain not your IPad Air"

"Of course I can't believe I didn't think of that" I reply softly, and bang myself on the head like _I'm such an idiot, _mockingly

Then this is my face

Me: _ -_-_

"I really wish I had a new assignment" Jim mutters shaking his hand on his head

"Wish I had a new guardian, it's a mutual feeling" I shrug, if he wasn't going to take me seriously and answer my questions I don't give a shit about being serious then

"Whatever, you need to take this-"

"USB" I interrupt, a small grin rising on the side of my face

"And connect to—"

"My Windows 8 to upload photos and stream music"

"Please, shut up"

"Okay, serious time now" I get a mockingly stern face and straighten my posture, Jim looks like he is done with life

"So before you interrupt me again, give me your hand" he replies, reaching his out

"Whoa slow down tiger" I smirk giving him my hand

"Uugg" he groans

He takes the one side of the cord and the skin under my wrist feels weird, and I notice it starts to sag

_Oh_ _Shit I'm fucking Reptile now too, wonderful … or wait maybe I'm Scorpion _

I vision myself in a 2-D game and I'm fighting _**Random bad guy 47**_

_Where the hell does my mind come up with this crap,_

The guy with the awesome over voice yells "_Finish him", _as Bad guy swirls his head dizzily

I'm about to get all Scorpion Wins, Fatality, _Get Over Here _on him, but now I'm back into reality or whatever is left of it cause time just froze a while ago, So… I guess I can fly now too?

But I'm not put back into regular fucked reality, Nope, I receive super fucked reality and get screwed over by fate and almost have a heart attack when the USB cord comes out of nowhere and jets itself into my wrist skin thing and flows- no it feels like it slithers through my body, in my blood stream, up my throat, and into my head

I feel like vomiting the whole way through, it suddenly links into my brain, and the room gets fuzzy, and I collapse

"Don't seem so smart now" is the last thing I hear Bond say, as graciously fall to the ground like a person who had too many shots.

My mind boggles, its pitch black

I hear a mess of voices speaking, one voice chuckles

"Did you see that she fell like a drunk!?"

The voice sounds light hearted, deceiving, and not really nice, social and talkative but not really nice, No! Wait! Nice isn't the right word…trustworthy, it doesn't sound trusting, reminds me of Aria, that evil sexy shit

"Hey it wasn't an cake walk you would have fell too" says another voice politely

Now we have a British-English woman, or a British woman or an- you know what, Fuck it, you get what I'm trying to say, she sounds like _" would you like some more tea… oh the weather is wonderful today_" but I won't lie the voice has a small hint of English sexy

"Technically I calculate we all fell like a drunkard" says a third voice

Last but not least, here comes... EDI, or Legion… Or both, whatever, this voice sounds like a robot, but sadly not with a voice as sexy sounding as EDI's, but it is pretty close

_God is all you can pay attention to is the amount of sexiness they have in their voices, your such a perv" _Says a part of me

_Are you telling me you want to pay attention to anything else? _Replies another back

_What the fuck am I talking about?_

"Great you got the robot talking "moans the devious voice

"According to my statistics we all seem to be human" replies Egion, or LegI or maybe LeDI, screw it, start over, rewrite

"According to my statistics we all seem to be human" States Robot Secretary

_Yeah that works _

"Oh I think we seem to be waking up" squeals Ms. _Would you care for a spot of tea and a biscuit?_

"Really didn't notice that" grunts _Sarcastic Much _aka Devious

_Damn, sarcastic chick_

Aren't you one too?

"Are you always such a douche?" snaps _you can shove that crumpet up your ass now_

_Oooo, British but sassy_

I should be focusing, why can't I, I feel strange, like I want to do 3 things at once, and each of them are so different

"Are your girl skirts always in such a twist?"

_My bad I forgot the Sassiness of sarcasm _

God what is wrong with me, I need to focus, where am I, who or what are these voices, where is Bond

"I'll-"starts the pissed off British voice

I wish I could leave someone is about to get choked

_Stop that! Focus!_

"Actually none of us have the ability to wear clothing since we are only voices and—"interrupts the robot

"No one cares" chimes in the voice I wouldn't really trust my money with

_Wait! That sounded important, gosh, where am I?_

"Apparently it seems I am to care for necessitating to say it"

"Where in God's name am I" I spit out, I don't know why but I couldn't hold it in anymore, I'm so damn confused

Then a little tune pops into my head

_Let it go let it go can't hold back any-_

Shut up! Now is not the time for a song, especially one from Frozen, god am I on hallucinogen brain crack or something

"Dumbass you're still unconscious "grunts the jerk voice

"Oh heaven why do you have to be so rude" politely ask the British

"Hey proper panties no one cares what you have to say, plus it doesn't take a genius to figure that out"

"Okay whatever, can I get some answers "I ask, I'm not really in the mood to hear these two argue again

"Depends on the question" states the one I'm not sure about

"In relation to questions in which we are accustomed with, we seem to have the answers of 22177-"

I stop the secretary "Wonderful, first question where am I" I ask forwardly

"Uuuhhh" mumbles devious

_Ha, don't have nothing to say no, huh! Wait, don't I need someone talking now, Damn_

"Well uum uurr" hums in the British

_Shit and though the British one could help_

"We seem to not have the solution to your enquiry, did you indicate the locate of your physical body form, or the location you seem to be within, we do not know that but our latest data seems to state it is subconscious like , though according to the last images in our memory database it seems we, as in our physical selves, are in Admiral Steven Hackett's office, in the sector B level 2 area of the Alliance Communications Area located on the citadel in the year 2183,"

_I wonder who could have thought of that, not me or anyone anywhere I'm guessing_

"Okay very helpful" I really wonder if was like this with Legion… probably not at least Legion did the robot, ah good times when I used to think this world was a video game, part of me still hopes it is "Second question who are you people? Voices? Or whatever, and why does the robot one keep saying we?"

"That response had introduced two questions" Pronounces the Robot

"God" I moan, I put my palm on my face, or at least I would if I was awake or something, all I can hear is my voice and all I can see is darkness, there is no movement there is thought "Please answer them both"

From what I've been hearing, I'm still unconscious from that USB crap and … yeah that's it

"Uh duh were you"

I'm about to say something when—

"That answer was insufficient to the answering of the first question" starts up the robot " your response was misleading as well as confusing, I may request next time you put more consideration in your response" responded the secretary

"Hey R2-D2, go fuck yourself" snapped the Smart ass

_Harsh_

"She was just trying to help, not her fault your answer was that of a swine" politely spoke the British, with a bit of an improper sting

"Bite me" devious addresses to the British voice, "And if this robot jackass, and Mary Poppins didn't interrupt me I could tell you she keeps saying we because…well, good news she not mental, well bad news, since she is not mental, according to her statistics and crap, that means it can't help explain the_ many _things wrong with her, but we are all the same person"

I wasn't sure if I like the devious voice yet, she was funny but kinda a jerk, and if they were me then who was I, uugg this is mind numbing, I was about to carry on with my questions when the earth moved

_Thud_

"What the hell" I yell

"You can say that again" says devious, actually agreeing with something…strange

_Thud _

The ground keeps shaking, or the blackness [not being racist] does since I can't see anything

"My calculations instituted we are regaining consciousness "chimes in the robot

"Oh that's wonderful" squeals in delight the British

"So I don't have to deal with you people anymore now…right" I really hope I didn't and I might have been sort of a jerk for saying that, but I need to find bond and shove the USB cord up his ass for fucking me like this

"I wouldn't say that" adds the _So_ trustworthy voice, with a _So _trustworthy _not_ suspicious lay over in it

I was going to ask what she ment by that because I knew it would bite me in the ass later but then there was no voices, or thoughts or people or nothing because I did wake up in a flash of the worse thing every, bullshiting ,mother fucking ,ass wiping white Light, for now on it was my worst enemy

Have you ever had a really bad hangover but you can't remember the fun of being drunk, then was hit by a car, wait! Then Godzilla stomped on you, Wait! Wait! Wait! Hold on, then finished the end of Mass Effect 3…without the DLC, well that was how I felt… times 5

_Oh god, where is a trash when you need one… I think I'm gonna hurl _

I can't really stand straight, I want to cry, and scream and punch something, I wobble some regaining consciousness , this reminds me in Mass Effect 2 if you drink the Mystery Drink at the bar with Liara's mom [_she is awesome by the way_] then you have to walk all indirect for about a minute

I try to focus on my surroundings they are coming up into effect, like in a video game when you load a save

Then in a blobish blur a see a figure, I then know it has to be Jim bond, the way less cooler and smooth cousin of James

Alright let me update that memo

Jim Bond, the way less cooler and smooth, and more fucked up and douche cousin of James

_I like that way better_

I finally gain some control of the feeling in my left leg, I stumble over to Dick Bond [yeah I like that name the best] and point my finger sternly at him

"Who the Fuck do you think you are not warning me about some shit like that" I roar in his face, and make a move to slap him against his dumbfound face, something stops me

_I wouldn't do that, it's not me, I don't just go slap people I'm too… Nice? Sensible?_

_{You will now} says something in my head_

He raises an eyebrow at my rage, which made me madder, but I then get a hit in the chest what that other voice was

_Mean, rushing…untrustworthy_

_Devious!? _I question in thought

Is that really her, I thought it was just some screwed dream

_{Oh fuck you better not be calling me that} she snaps disgustedly _

_(Oh do I get a name) pops a sweet voice of the European _

Shit the British too

_{Yeah fuck face, that describes you perfectly} laughs Devious_

_Oh no not you too. _I moan to the British

_{What miss us} smirks Devious_

"_Of course" _I add sarcastically

_(Great we missed you too)_

_[I have been also concerning your return] responds a third voice_

_Damn, Not that robot _I complain

_{Yeah I know what you mean} groans Untrustworthy_

"Talking with yourself_" _states Bond half-heartedly snapping me back to where I am, I'm about to explain what's going on when I remember

_Oh wait I'm still pissed off at you_

I regain all my balance and strengthen my posture, and grab him by the neck of his shirt, then pull his face level to mine

"Fuck you Bond" I answer seriously, I want to punch the hell out of his smug uncaring face, but then I feel suddenly guilty and want to apologize and then I feel a sudden urge to stand my ground cool my temper and ask him rationally my questions, nope. I'm still pissed "I want answers and I want them now" I stare right into his confused weirded out face I bet he is thinking he is looking into the eyes of a psycho

_{He probably is}_

"Okay pushy_" _he sighs putting his hands up, I let go of his shirt, and take a few steps back

_{Oh lets hit him}_

_No, I need to focus_

"You just got Phyllis memories right" he replies strengthening his shirt out

"Yeah" I grunt, still cooling off steam "so"

_(Be more polite)_

"I mean…"I struggle to finish the sentence but then breathe out_ "_yes"

_Why did I do that?_

"Well let's just say Phyllis wasn't the most mentally stable"

_[Answer logically]_

"Implicating "I spit out

"Ask them" he nods

_So who or what the hell are you_

_(We are you, the parts of you)_

_{We help you make your choices, if your ass is willing to listen}_

_[We put them into different perspectives Based on your different principles]_

_(Phyllis took things into her many points of view)_

_[Which we summarized into us three]_

_{Me the cool and always right one, or your Rebellious side}_

_(Then me, your thoughtful and merciful side, who is right doing and believes in second chances, your Compassion)_

_[Lastly there is me, your third identity, who is prepared to use are substantial knowledge and statistics to aide us throughout our various situations with accuracy, I am your Logic]_

_Rebel_

_Compassion_

_Logic_

_3 choices or personalities or whatever that don't really seem that great, reminds me of a certain ending_

* * *

So whoa, Phyllis was a crazy motherfucker with mental issues great absolutely peachy

_Spoiler Alert: I'm Changing The P.O.V Next Chapter_

_**Chapter 5:** The Quarian _

_P.s Its not Tali... or is it, No It's not_

If you want more Follow, Fave or Review NAOW !

Note: Hey guys sorry it took me so long with this chapter, I been busy with so much crap and I got all addicted to Star wars The Old Republic, like no lie it's so much fun, I can't stop playing, until I notice I can't do some shit until I subscribe so then I had a bitch hissy fit and stop playing for a while, but here we are now, if you have any questions comments or concerns [ damn I'm sounding like logic, whatever] please like leave me a message or something

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[ In this part i usually talk about your guys names, or reply to reviews or whatever]

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ShepardisaBOSS  
TheShepard2170 [Thanks for the fave, i like your story as well, also The Shepard really?, did you like the ending, is it like a reference from the ending or you just like herding sheep Jk or you just wanted a cool name, sorry if i'm ragging on you, i just like to ask people about their names]  
VioletHawthorn [ Violet is a cool color dude, I had a New Respect over it after the Saints Row Games]  
XRaiderV1  
chinas  
[Thanks, so what are you master of? or is it a title like Master Chief or something military like]  
mattl11 [ so do you know what 9 +10 is... does anybody]  
ultimate idiot [ i really wouldn't think your an idiot, you faved the story which was pretty smart]

Main Question to My people: What is your Favorite Ashley Williams Quote, Moment or Whatever

My Favorite Part is when she dies ha ha ha ha ha [ evil laugh] JK

**My New Respect For Airlocks**

Javik: Your "Joker" pilot insists I call myself "Prothy the Prothean." I insisted he allow me to throw him out the airlock.

ME3

_Me : Go Fucking airlocks_

**My Advice for the Week**

If you have any problems _Throw them out the Airlock_

**Your Freaking Fanboys**

Commander Shepard - Male: Conrad, do you even have a wife?

Conrad Verner: Oh yes! Yes, yes, yes... Well... no. But see...

Commander Shepard - Male: Conrad, if you have some kind of weird shrine of me, I will be *very* unhappy.

Conrad Verner: It's just a poster and a few candles. It's very tasteful.

_Me: oh god [ shakes head distastefully while playing] it must be really weird with Femshep[ i know it is i of coursed played with her first] in this shit, lets hope Conrad doesn't obsess in that way_

_you know what i mean, if not you are truly a good and pure person_

**_Semi-Questions_**

_ anyone know what a Pinus is or a Pinus Young female cone, i would look it up but don't want that shit on my search history_

Pm me if you liked the Original ending of ME 3, also what choice did you pick[ if or if not] and what about ME1 did you save those asshole pricks of the council or not [ you don't have to answer]


	5. Blank No More

Bioware and EA own mass effect and the characters and locations, some characters and stuff are mine

First note: sorry guys I know it has been like the longest time,over like 6 months and I'm and douche for that,I don't really have a good excuse but I'll have one made up by the end of this chapter :P

Second Note: Whoa Whoa Whoa POV change this chapter, can't wait, but let's finish this stuff first

Twisted Effect

Chapter 5

Part One  
Blank No More

My head feels like Thor's hammer is banging against it, my eyes hurt from that damn white light still and I just found out I'm mentally insane. So how was your day?

{Your jackass did not just really compare us to the mass effect 3 ending}

What!? No. Yes. Get the fuck out my head.

{Sorry you're stuck with us, or did you not hear Bond when your head stuck up your ass}

Go fuck yourself!

(Why does she always get control)

[Human instincts when presented with stimulus usually take an aggressive approach]

(Well yes but it's not nice)

Control what do you mean control, I'm in control assholes.

[In a state of being yes, but as for reason and wording for your actions right now Rebel is in control]

{Leave me alone you arrogant asswipe, just mad that I get all the fun}

Wait, I'm not usually this stressed, or cursing(well maybe)… So is Rebel in control

There is a thin but hot prickling on my spine a voice whispers

{"Get mad, get angry, show you mean business don't let this prick tell you what to do"}

The sound is pleasure it feels right I want to do, my blood is boiling, oh my freaking god I want to get fucked up on adrenaline, who the fuck does Bitch ass Bond think he is.I bring myself back to the real world and turn to face his ass (not literally but you know like.. uuug never mind I can never have a serious moment]

"I know this must be strange and all- " Bond starts sincerely

No I don't want to hear it I don't want to hear any of his crap, I want to get mad, no I want to get even

(Oh goodness here it comes)

[I would calm down now]

"Strange ha strange doesn't even manage to describe the amount of bullshit this all is," I start, a sudden rage

"You take out of my dimension or whatever by killing me, bring me into the mass effect universe seemingly cause I could be in a coma or really fucking high, more likely the first one cause I don't smoke" I rave my hands in the air and probably have saliva hanging off my mouth

_Classy_

As always

A blaze of bullshit and really uncalled for insults come through my mouth but my head started to hurt so much that I don't remember them.

All I remember is Hackett sitting in front of me looking for answers.

_Oh shit we're back here again_

(Oh thank heaven you're alright)

{Ahh that felt good}

(You're so arrogant sometimes, we just got back and you're already wrecking our systems)

[I have checked all out physical and mental system we seem to be still able and well bodied, the control relinquished by Rebel has not given us any damage...yet]

Yet

{See Sally were fine}

(*mumbles* my name's not Sally)

"Admiral I can't give you the full story but I have something you can know" I start calmly, I have no idea what I'm saying but my memories are filling in the story for me

I am May Olivia Phyllis.I am 26 years old and I was born May 1st 2156.I grew up with my mom, Katelyn Collins an alliance naval officer and my father, Xavier Phyllis a retired mercenary and ex father changed his criminal ways cause he fell in love with my mom, they first met when my father got involved with the kind of gang that was getting in the way of the some other crap I don't want to explain now,they got married my mom had me and then went back to the military to finish her service, she wasn't into mothering at first but soon came to love it but when the alliance called she had to leave cause she loved the alliance too.

She died when I was ten in some batarian gang bullcrap and I never saw her again.

My father after this was never the same, he was always mad and furious, always drunk,I tried to help him but that would just get him to beating me cause I looked so much like one day I was fucking done, I ran away and lived on the streets till I was 13 and then those bastards took me ran some fucked up experiments and screwed my thought it would be the thing that connects us closer to the aliens if we had genes like them or to make the superior race.I broke out and tried to live a normal and nonviolent life but others always came looking for me either for my DNA or my biotics or both cause I could control them a lot better than any other human due to the Asari DNA and my mental threshold.

After all that running I decided I wanted make a change and help people but more importantly get the hell of the rock we call earth so I did and joined the alliance.I knew most of the basics of guns and stuff cause I had to learn how to use them prior to the events before cause duh.I was promoted fasted through the ranks cause of my talent I was an LC at 25 but then..then came akuze.

_Oh yeah akuze part of the sole survivor choice we usually choose that one_

But Phyllis didn't choose akuze, akuze chose her.

The story is still the same pretty much, regular scout mission, big ass thresher maw, death to them all except one.

_Akuze,2181_

It's a cold night and it's my turn on patrol.

We lost 1 from my squad to the sudden attack and 4 need medical researchers have been separated from us but the thing seems not to be over there,but their communications are down and so are any on this damn planet. The _thing_ ripped through all our powers cords and crap. We sent a distress beacon after the attack but it take about after dawn before someone we get here cause it got short circuited.

"Thresher Maw,we just have the luck" shouts a soldier, this one isn't usually part of my squad and I don't trust him.

"Calm down,we'll have a ship pick us up late after dawn" replies Kricks, my 2nd in command, he lights a cigarette and sits on the ground.

I'm about 20 ft up taking guard since I have the best eyes,I don't think they know I can hear of some of the enhancements,I have better hearing and stuff.

"How are you so sure of that" he starts, throwing his hands in the air "well probably be dead before dawn"

_Hee,Dead before Dawn sounds like a video game._

Kricks stopped from his cigarette and looked distastefully at the man and grunts

"I know cause May said so".

Short, Oliver Short my third in command comes out from the tent with his fist clenched

"Yeah and if May says the shuttle will be after dawn then the shuttle will be after damn dawn" he growls his eyes burn with passion and his nose cringes.

Little ol short he is quite the loyal one and his nose is so cute when he's mad. Now don't get me wrong Short is a good,respectable soldier and man and is kinda cute but I don't feel that way about him... it's more like a puppy thing.

_Wow friend zone cold_

Oh shut up I just want him as a friend.

Short points a steady finger right between the soldier's eyes "Now keep your Mouth Fucking Shut and don't doubt my Commander's orders again or so help me-

Kricks intervenes and pulls Short back "Calm down Oliver" he barks. He looks at the soldiers around him and sighs "It's a rough day for everyone I suggest we all just breathe and take a rest, will probably need our strength for later". He turns his back to leave and mutters "I'll go check on the Commander ". Oliver nods respectfully and heads back to the tent, the questioning soldier looks like he wants to say more but a fellow soldier takes his shoulder and talks him away.I also hear him call him probably told me that before but I guess it slipped my mind.

I hear Kricks make his way up here."And that's why you're my XO" I smirk recalling the situation he just resolved

"And that's why I'm stuck on this damn mission" he replies looking down,taking in his cigarette

"Oh don't be such a downer" I chuckle

"We're one man downer... Ma'am" he adds laughing dryly

I frown and look at him pissed off" You don't think I know that" I grunt

"Just saying"he sighs again and looks at the moon. I've known Kricks for 2 years now and I am damn proud I did, at first I know he wasn't thrilled to be my XO but he learned to respect me for my leadership skills and not look at my young age, caused he's like in his forties, which isn't all that old but he should be at a more higher doesn't like losing men but then in theory what soldier didn't.

"Ugh I'm too damn old for this Phyllis" he groans

"All that worrying won't make you any younger" I reply with a small grin

_And neither will all that complaining_,I think to myself but I don't say that aloud

"You can say that again" he chimes in

"Can't ,we have to start moving" I answer picking up the supplies I left there

"How long before we become monster munch? " questions Kricks getting up and dusting himself off.

"About 4 minutes"

"What!?" He cries."Just kidding" I smirk at his shock."About 20 if we move now, we don't even want to be even 19 minutes of distance from that thing".I start to walk off when-

"I don't really think you're scared of that thing I seen you tear a mako in half" he calls out

"I'm not scared I just don't want to lose anymore men".

"And that's why you're the Commander".

_2 Hours Later_

"That beast has taken out 3 of our makos this is the only one left" reports Short, he looks gravely at the ground "We can't all fit Commander"

"I know that but it's almost dawn" I reply, part of me hoping that would help but it's useless info were not at the pickup site

"We could leave the ones who don't fit behind and come back for them later once we have a support vehicle" pipes out Mills looking confident in his decision.

I don't like the sound of that plan,I don't like leaving men behind, even if its for a minute in unsafe circumstances... But it's the only plan we-

"No it can smell our blood, it could possibly find them" says a female soldier,her name is Norms and she is a close friend with Mills.

Good observation, I know Maws can smell blood but on a planet this barren it can probably smell the smallest trickle. Huh kinda reminds me of a shark, Just a 100 foot acid spitting sand shark.

"Also it could find the Mako" I add "Iron is good for a maws diet, and that thing is as loud and noticeable as fuck", I point at the mako,I feel a plan coming together but I haven't connected all the pieces."You know what that means" grunts a sudden voice. We all turn to see Kricks leaning back,coldly staring at the ground, stepping out his cigarette. He has been quiet the whole time.

_But maybe Kricks has connected them though_

It's silent for a few moments until he breathes out " we have to walk it out"

"But it can smell our-" starts Norms reminding him."And someone will have to be the distraction...on the Mako" he finishes

It's silent again

I knew he connected the pieces it make sense but-"I volunteer myself Commander "Kricks commands sternly

_Wait What!?_

"Like hell you do" I snap

"I've lived a good life Commander I'm the oldest serving" he says starting to sound like a veteran

He what!? No he won't use _that_ as a reason he did not just use that

"That is not a death mission going out there" I reply quickly but who am I trying to convince of that, me or him

"Like hell it isn't, you just-" his eyes flare as he says the words."Will let me go" I finish, I know it was going to be me its the only thing that makes sense."But wait what May" Oliver starts, looking at me with sincere fear

"May Olivia" interrupts Kricks,sounding like my father

"I'm the commander here John and I say I'm going" I shout."But" he pleads with anger. "But Nothing" I turn my head away from them all and look at the smallest speck of sunlight coming from the horizon "I won't let anyone of my crew risk their lives for me, I'm in charge I make the hard decisions and my mind is final" and then I walk out the tent without looking back

I go to the Mako,its not in good shape and I see some sparks fly out of it. "You got one last ride in ya buddy"

"Don't talk like that" says a voice, I don't have to turn around to know it was Kricks

"Hmm I wasn't thinking it though" I utter calmly, being truthful, cause I wasn't thinking it

"Hey don't give the _'i'll be fine and will drink about this later_' speech crap ok" he remarks grinning softly but I see a hint of worry in his eye, but of course he's fucking worried he just tried to stop me a minute ago. He is trying to not seemed worry though and I appreciate that. "You're starting to sound like me though which is a good sign heh but anyway I thought you were worried" I reply,I'm just playing around with him

"I thought I was but too then I realized you're called Mayday Phyllis for a reason" he smirks and it looks like he is about to say more but I know he wants to awkwardly say goodbye. So I just get it over with and hug him and mutter"You'd make a good dad John"

{Well ain't that sweet, I want to vomit now}

(Oh Shut it,she's reliving the precious moment)

{Spoiler Alert he-}

(Shhhh)

"Really?" He gasps most likely surprised by my show affection and ending the small hug

"I mean eh I guess" Kricks should know moment like that are blue moon rare "better than mine" I breathe under my breath. I've been hearing Kricks talk with some of his older friends into settling down but he keeps rejecting the offers, says crap like, "too old" and when they mention kids he freaked the fuck out man, I've seen a jackalope get its leg cut off (don't ask] and bleed itself out on the street,that was more calm than him.

"Just wouldn't want you as my dad though, too bossy" I add

_Damn you ruined the Kodak moment_

Eh, worth it

He sighs and rolls his eyes "Ugh get in the damn Mako"he groans

_See!Now we can't even get a Hallmark moment_

"There you go with the bossyness" I answer with a mocking eye roll

Still worth it

I get the Mako on my own free will and not because Kricks told me to and start to reave it up.I know Oliver and some of the others want to say something too but we're wasting time.I drive the Mako about a few hundred meters out, take the dagger from my boot, and sit on top of the steel of of the mako I look unsurely at my pale wrist as I unsleeve it but then just slit spits in my face and all over the white metal, after about a good 40 seconds I get some medigel to close much blood lost would have left most unconscious but I have 2 hearts and I pump blood faster,one of the perks of being a freak.

I can see the group heading for the North and I give one last look before I go south, a small blood trail behind me.I either need to be a good distraction long enough for some help to come or until umm,I don't know ...maybe I can kill it.

And that was the last time I saw any of them alive

My Distraction wasn't good enough

I..failed

I have a feeling deep in my chest, the more I think about it the more it starts to eat away at me. I'm not safe nothing is safe, I just want to curl into a small miserable ball and die.

The maw followed me and was tailing me pretty damn good I was taunting it,yelling crap like "so close big boy" and "too slow wormy". I soon noticed it was sometime after dawn and hope they all made it back, not worrying too much about it because I wasn't a worrier back then,But then after some more chasing I notice silence."Where is that slimy bastard" I question to myself and then stop and listen intensely.I found out later that..that it stopped chasing me and turned around, it turn damn around and I was to...what foolish,stupid,arrogant to realize that. I could have went back but when I did it was too late,too damn late.I tried to contact them see if they made it yet but all I hear is their agony and then static.

I'm a disgrace as a Commander,a leader and as a friend. I might as well just ran off with the damn mako. There was a pit in my heart afterwards. I didn't deserve to lead anything, so I requested to lower my rank and put myself in a field that required me to do my job,by then I become an engineer and distanced myself away from all the people cause you can't disappoint a machine...well unless it's an AI but that's new XO is a my box of tools and I spend my time commanding the engines. Is it the exciting,bullet filled life I had before?No,but I don't care it's good and it's been good, before I thought I needed change but now I never want it.

{Oh boo hoo, your friends died and your sad, you got us now though}

Like that makes me feel better

_I know the trauma was a lot and bad enough to get you 3 voices in your head. Hell one is bad enough, but now we're not as alone_

Good point me,doesn't make me feel all that better, but good point

And it was okay, boring but okay until I met Corporal Toomba who told me the truth, at first I thought he was a mad man but then I checked into Toomba was one of the guards at the research center which was on the other side of the colony on colony there was small and failing so the researchers were investing seeing if people were developing illnesses or there was pollution in anything to find out why so many were dying. I don't know how the fuck you miss a Thresher maw but I soon did. It's nesting area has been a couple miles out from the colony,but that doesn't mean you wouldn't notice that shit. Well I have the answer

Cerberus

C.E.R.B.E.R.U.S

8 letters,3 syllables and an unlimited amount of fuckfaces in it. Turns out Cerberus was experimenting and studying Thresher Maws and using the colony as variables. Seeing how they react to life and how they attack and how would you be able to see accurate results. Well helpless colonist are free to use and react naturally cause they don't know they're being need to Order Now! Cause the alliance is just shipping them to you without knowing.

{You know what? that is kinda weird}

Oh great

(She just means you turned the situation into an infomercial in your head...buts that's ok, I still love you)

Hey I'm mental, don't judge me

['Mental' isn't the right vocabulary to associate our condition with]

Oh sorry mom, I meant mentally challenged

Any way, after each study they would find a way to blame the 'test' on an accident, gas leaks, batarians,some other crap

Now what I have to say after learning this was... Uh inappropriate at the time right now but basically I have been feeling like a piece of shit, worthless and a guilty traitor. I have been blaming myself for the death of my friends and soldiers for the past 2 years, everyone else has been telling me 'you couldn't have seen that' and 'not your fault', but I wouldn't hear it I was just hurt and loss that _**I**_ was the failure, I wanted to be discharged and shot in the face but then something inside me told me not side of my brain told me I was scum, the other said it wasn't my fault, the scum saying side had more power than the other side so the other side negotiated, a job as an engineer, it only made me slightly happy, slightly.

So I'm spending too much time taking in the memories, I have to say this is the craziest moments of my life.

I feel every moment and piece of agony and joy Phyllis ever felt and for a strange reason I'm accepting it.

Yep this is me for now, I'm a genetic freak, a soldier, an engineer in the mass effect universe.

_You seriously don't believe that_

Well I mean I guess, slight pings of doubt hit me thoughts but that's because my thoughts are mixed with Phyllis's thoughts and I'm not complete ...or something

"So basically that's what happened, Admiral" I finish, I didn't tell him _everything_ but I gave him the main scoop of it.

He looked at the ground the whole time I told it,then after I finished he then asked "Lieutenant are you telling me that Cerberus is the real reason of the deaths on Akuze and that Sergeant Stern and Lieutenant Commander Davis have betrayed the alliance and you were helped by Corporal Toomba who was captured by Cerberus and had horrible experiments done to him yet he was able to send your whole ship a message from a corrupted omni-tool but they took it as joke except you but you were able to save him and get the truth with the help of Davis and Stern but on the way you met Dominguez an ex Cerberus scientist who decide to help you but as of 20 minutes ago they all showed their true colors,thought they had killed you and almost destroyed part of the wards?"

"Uh yeah, that's what I just told you, why did you just repeat it" I answer back, confused a bit.

"Just trying to wrap my head around it" he replies back rubbing his forehead."This information has the plans of Cerberus for the next 3 months and their data collected from the lab "I say with a calm face as I give him the data through my omni-tool

" I'll give this to the main bracket, they'll figure out how to take Cerberus down" he replies passing the info along.

{Jackass Davis thought the explosion would have us and the data destroyed}

[Davis expectations had failed, I agree]

(Aww look at us all on the same page, I love it)

Yeah ok Davis is a douche we all get it

"This is the main reason I couldn't tell you before of why I needed my data purged,they have been hunting me for the last 3 weeks sir" I say trying to hold back my distress, Cerberus just kept following me everywhere, I couldn't even go to a public restroom without coming out with a gun in my face."Now that they think I'm dead I won't have to worry about them anymore" I nod,then I get up and shake Hackett's hand, I almost lose my balance cause I have a terrible headrush and make my way to the door.

"Where are you going Lieutenant, you just faced a great ordeal" ask Hackett with professional concern "I'll put some more shore leave on your record,take some rest"

"No can do sir, I have some business to take care of" I answer with a cocky smile.

"Where are you going then?" he repeats."Well first I'm going to get a drink" I smirk, "it's been a long day"

Citadel lower wards

_Log:_

_it's been about 3 days and I can't believe I'm here, I have been called suit rat 12 times and I can't say it's a great thing to be called but it is really interesting to watch peoples mouths move or the light thing glow to indicate they're speaking._

_I turn the corner and see 2 humans giving me a strange look and walk into a club_.

~I turn off my omni-tool and advance slowly to the club entrance, I hear the techno beat roaring from the door.

_Oooo a club, I haven't been to one of those yet_

I see a sorta long line extending from the door and 2 tough looking bouncers uhh be bouncers I guess, I go to the end of the line politely behind a turian and smile (even though nobody can notice) as he turns and gives me a questioning look.

It's still strange to have this mask over my face and also having only 3 fingers and it's weird to move my legs.

_Gosh it's weird to be a quarian_

After a minute or 2 my attention is took by what I think is a soldier, female,slightly above average height, medium armor, she has a pale yet intimidating face.

_She must be on a mission_

Maybe she needs help,oh I think this is who I'm looking for

Maybe she is..._The Alternative?_

Authors note:

Well first off sorry guys for not inviting you to my funeral cause thats the only reason i've been gone so long

Not really but first off I have one thing to say, Team Fortress 2, that's actually 3 but whatever, I really thought mass effect would be the only game I would truly ever love but damn it tf2( what we call it) is like so great, its like call of duty but with hats, jk but for real I mean there is so many different classes(only 9) with such unique personalities and weapon choices the maps and game modes are fun and guess what... It's all free

Free .99 baby, I mean you should give like 2.50 from or something to buy a key or at least one cool hat, but the free to play model is pretty good and you can add cosmetics to your character to make them yours and then some hats and items are printable and you can trade items with friends. But I have to say one of the best things is the taunts omg they are so much fun, there is a conga taunt which can have an unlimited amount of friends and enemies doing it, then there is the high 5 taunt, the rock paper scissors, and now these new ones like this cool Russian dance one. Also there is are character specific taunts like one where you drink coffee, eat chicken, play a saxophone, get wasted, sit in a beach chair and get drunk, hide in a box and move around like you do in metal gears solid, and throw your money at poor people and tell them to buy a life

If you didn't notice already, I love this game and really it kinda mindless shooting (at some points) and there is no campaign or real story within the game but there is some cool comics explaining the story and a few short videos

Tf2 was made by valve, and can be played on steam,(its a computer game) if you are interested in playing or the story go to their website, or if your not sure meet the characters first, watch the 'Meet the Team' videos on YouTube or whatever, I recommend the meet the spy video or meet the medic first ok

Last thing about this game if you want to see some funny gameplay watch star on YouTube(aka ster) and watch jerma is mad pt2 video or ruiner of fun, for a good laugh

One last time sorry for being supreme douche of the year and just leaving the story and all my readers, I really do love and appreciate you guys (and gals)

Also have you seen the new news about the new mass effect game, sadly won't be as good as the last 3

Peace out

If you have any questions or concerns (or want to send me your a jerk mail) pm me or whatever

Also you can pm me if you like tf2 already or you hate it or if you want to talk about it or something, or if you want to friend me on steam

Write a review too if you feel like it :P

Also thanks to my new followers and favoriters (it's a word)

P.S

There will be more POV change in the next chapter too


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